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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Man Who Hasn't Moved In Six Hours Repeatedly Welcomed Back By TV

PADUCAH, KY—Despite not moving from his couch for more than six hours, Randy Kresge, 26, was repeatedly welcomed back by his television Monday. "Welcome back to Blind Date," said show host Roger Lodge, one of 12 different TV personalities to herald the return of the inert Kresge. "So glad you could join us." Kresge's obvious intention to remain seated did not keep the television from repeatedly urging him to "stick around."

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