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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Man Who Saw ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ 6 Times Over Holidays Thought It Was Pretty Good

CHICAGO—Stressing that the movie “definitely had some cool moments,” local man Jeff Feitel, who saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens six times over the holidays, told reporters Monday that he thought it was pretty good. “I had a few issues with some stuff, but overall I thought it was a fun movie,” said Feitel, who over the past two weeks has cumulatively spent 14 hours and $87 attending screenings of the film, including multiple 3D viewings, a midnight showing, and an IMAX screening at 8:50 a.m. “I honestly thought the lightsaber battles were just so-so, but the reliance on practical effects was kind of awesome. And it lays out a pretty compelling mythology for the next couple movies, too.”At press time, Feitel was reportedly purchasing a ticket to see The Force Awakens again that evening.


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