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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Man With New Generator Hoping For Power Outage

PITTSFIELD, MA– Days after purchasing a new Coleman Powermate 2500 portable generator, homeowner Randy Denton expressed hope for a power outage Monday. "Man, a huge, citywide blackout would be fantastic," said Denton, scanning the sky for signs of storm activity. "I'd love to give this baby's 5.0 Tecumseh engine with electronic ignition a little ride." Added Denton: "That maple tree across the street is pretty old. I bet a good gust could knock it across those power lines."

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