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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Man With Widely Circulated Penis Pictures Not The Most Humiliated Person At Podium

NEW YORK—Announcing his decision to remain in the New York City mayoral race, a man whose self-taken cell phone photographs of his penis have been widely circulated and viewed by millions of Americans was reportedly not the most humiliated person standing behind the podium at a press conference yesterday, sources confirmed. “These things that I did were wrong and hurtful,” said the man who, despite referring to himself online as Carlos Danger and repeatedly sharing images of his genitals on social media sites, was somehow not the most embarrassed person standing within three feet of the bank of microphones and dozens of reporters. “I want to again say that I am very sorry to anyone who was on the receiving end of these messages and the disruption that this has caused. Now it’s time to move forward.” At press time, the individual whose name is now little more than a punch line remained the least ashamed person in his house.

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