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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Manning To Take Some Time Before Deciding Dungy's Future

INDIANAPOLIS—In the wake of the Colt's 28-24 upset loss to the San Diego Chargers last Sunday, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning remains tight-lipped as to whether or not he plans on firing longtime head coach Tony Dungy. "I don't think it would be wise to make a decision on Tony's future with this loss so fresh in my mind," Manning told reporters during his post-game press conference. "I am going to take Monday off and listen to what [general manager] Bill [Polan] and [Colts owner] Jim [Irsay] have to say on Monday night. I should have my final decision before the end of next week." Though Manning remained mum on Dungy's future, he told reporters that he intends to fire both the Colts' offensive and defensive coordinators and will more than likely promote Colts assistant marketing director Henry Jacobs to executive director of digital business.

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