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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Manny Ramirez Impresses Triple-A Teammates With Knowledge Of Shapes

ROUND ROCK, TX—In a remarkable demonstration of expertise, Round Rock Express designated hitter Manny Ramirez reportedly wowed his triple-A teammates Friday with his expansive knowledge of basic geometric shapes. “See, that one is a circle, and it’s made from the roundest stuff in the whole world—billions of super-tiny curves that you can’t see with your eyes, man,” said Ramirez, who also excitedly pointed out a square, diamond, number, glove, and cap shape. “I like all the shapes, but the triangle is the best and my favorite because it has a bunch of sides and super-pointy parts. Triangles are expensive, man. Squares aren’t as fancy, but they are still really good shapes.” At press time, players on the Round Rock Express confirmed that Ramirez had taught them about several new shapes, including the squishircle, correctangle, and stopsignagon.

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