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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Manny Ramirez Likes Red Sox's New Blue Uniforms

LOS ANGELES—Dodgers left-fielder Manny Ramirez, sent to Los Angeles in a three-team trade two weeks ago, said Monday that he "really likes" the Red Sox's new blue-and-white uniforms. "I like it more than the red," Ramirez told reporters following the Dodgers' 8-6 win over the Phillies Monday. "I'm also happy that they shortened the Green Monster, and painted it blue, because that wall was too tall before. And I'm really enjoying the easy schedule we've been playing lately." Although Ramirez admitted he didn't appreciate having "that vampire from the Yankees" [Joe Torre] hanging out in the dugout all the time, he did say that he "completely approves of David Ortiz's new mustache" while gesturing towards Dodgers second baseman Jeff Kent.

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