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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man’s Idea For Tweet Just Pops Into His Mind Almost Fully Formed

TRENTON, NJ—In an astonishing moment of creative inspiration, local Twitter user Chase Munson, 29, told reporters Monday that his latest idea for a tweet had simply popped into his head all at once, almost fully composed. “I was driving back from the store, and it just came to me out of nowhere, nearly word for word—the whole tweet!” said Munson, adding that the rapidly conceived-of tweet arrived in his mind complete with an appropriate hashtag and fell well within the social media site’s 140-character limit. “I mean, it was all there, the whole thing. A finished work. It was amazing.” At press time, sources confirmed Munson’s masterpiece had been “favorited” by two of his friends.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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