Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Man's Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips

VERONA, WI—Friends report that HVAC installer Kirk Pulver has markedly similar advice on both relationships and deer hunting. "You have to dress either to blend in with the scenery or to stand out from it, depending on the situation, but either way, you want to disguise your scent," said Pulver to friends at a local tavern. "You have to find out where they eat, where they sleep, where they pee, and when they're most likely to be off guard. Then, when you've got a clear look at their rack and you're sure they're legal, bam! You take 'em." Pulver's associates noted that he has not bagged a deer or a woman in six years.


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