Man's Streak Of Getting Great Parking Spot Ends At 37

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 15

New Healthier Pigs

Scientists have cloned pigs that are engineered to contain omega-3 fatty acids, which produce healthier pork. What do you think?

Gospel Of Judas Found

A 1,700-year-old papyrus document called the Gospel of Judas indicates that the apostle Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans at his request. What do...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...


Man's Streak Of Getting Great Parking Spot Ends At 37

CHICAGO, IL—Self-described "Michael Jordan Of Parking" Tim Llewelyn saw his personal record of consecutive "awesome" parking places end Monday at 37, sources close to the junior accounts manager said. "He had a damn good run," said coworker John Billups, who was in Llewelyn's 1999 Toyota Camry when he spent an hour fruitlessly circling the Hyde Park area. "In fact, were it not for all the road work near the [University Of Chicago] campus, he might've made it to 40." As of press time, Llewelyn's streak of parallel-parking attempts without making bumper contact stood at six.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More