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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine

SIOUX FALLS, SD—Admitting that he basically just stands there until one of the stations starts blaring “unexpected item in bagging area,” local supermarket employee Andy Berenson reported Wednesday that his entire job consists of undoing the handiwork of the store’s self-checkout machines. “My whole shift is pretty much spent asking people to step aside as I swipe my employee card and clean up whatever mess the machine’s gotten itself into,” said Berenson, acknowledging that he is paid solely to assist frustrated shoppers whose items won’t scan correctly or fail to trigger the machine’s electronic scale, or whose rewards cards don’t register with the system. “Sometimes I have to coach a customer through the payment process or enter in a code just to let the transaction continue, but half the time I end up having to tell people to use a different machine because the one they’re using froze up.” Berenson went on to say that the sole purpose of the store’s manager appeared to be approving any transaction involving alcohol.

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