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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Many Senators Developing Simple Tools For Governing

WASHINGTON, DC—Scientists who study congressional behavior reported Monday that some senators are capable of developing and using primitive legislative tools. "We noticed about a month ago that an alpha senator and majority-leader silverback named 'Bill' had taken to banging his lectern with a hammer-like implement instead of using his fist or a leg of meat as the others do," said congressional anthropologist Allison Weathers, author of Rotundas In The Mist, the acclaimed account of life among the great congressmen of the Potomac River region of the U.S. "Since then we've seen multiple instances of tool use, such as small implements used for drafting and adjourning, as well as the rudiments of spoken language in the form of monosyllabic grunts such as 'aye' and 'nay,' common in group decision-making."

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