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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Mar-A-Lago Caddy Injures Shoulder Carrying Heavy Set Of Classified National Security Briefings Around Golf Course

PALM BEACH, FL—Having struggled to haul more than 30 pounds of highly classified documents for 18 holes, Mar-a-Lago caddy Simon Bauers reportedly injured his shoulder Sunday while carrying a set of President Donald Trump’s national security briefings around the resort’s golf course. “I definitely felt a sudden twinge of pain while walking to the 12th hole with all of President Trump’s intelligence briefings slung over my right shoulder,” said Bauers, adding that he was forced to lift the large, unwieldy assortment of CIA and FBI briefings with his left arm for the remainder of the day. “Hopefully it isn’t anything serious, but by the end of the day, I could barely pick up a few binders of intel on North Korea’s ballistic missile capabilities, let alone all the dossiers on ISIS. I might have to go see a doctor tomorrow if the pain doesn’t go away.” Bauers went on to say that he is at least glad Trump’s set of briefings has gotten far lighter ever since intelligence officials decided to withhold sensitive information from the president to avoid White House leaks.

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