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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Marc Stein Takes Ultimate Risk In Moving Lakers From Fourth To Third In NBA Power Rankings

BRISTOL, CT—In what he has confessed was "probably the gutsiest move of [his] career," ESPN.com sportswriter Marc Stein bumped the Los Angeles Lakers from the number four spot up to number three on his weekly NBA power rankings Monday. "I've done crazy things in the past, and I have gone against the mainstream, and I have put my job on the line in order to most accurately assign rankings to the 30 NBA teams—but this one tops them all," Stein said of his decision to move the 33-17 Lakers up one spot after the team acquired Pau Gasol and won five of their last six games. "Now I must either reap the rewards or face the ultimate consequence. If the Lakers keep it up, I am a god; if they falter and go 2-2 this week, I could be fired…Oh, God, what have I done? What have I done? I've gone too far!" The only feedback Stein has received thus far is an e-mail from NJFanMan2000, who claimed that the Lakers sucked and that the Nets should be No. 1.

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