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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Mario Chalmers Under Impression Heat Need Him To Step Up In Playoffs

MIAMI—Heading into the team’s first-round matchup against the Milwaukee Bucks, sources confirmed Friday that Miami Heat point guard Mario Chalmers has somehow fallen under the impression that his teammates really need him to step it up during the playoffs. “They can’t do it without me, so I definitely have to bring my A-game,” said Chalmers, adding that head coach Erik Spoelstra is counting on him to be at his absolute best on defense and maintain flawless perimeter shooting amid the team’s bid for a second consecutive NBA title. “This is the playoffs, so I can’t afford to have an off game. Everyone’s depending on me out there, and if I don’t make my presence felt, we could be headed home early.” Chalmers also confirmed that he will need to be a vocal leader on the floor in order to set an example for Dwyane Wade, Ray Allen, and LeBron James.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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