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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Mario Chalmers Under Impression Heat Need Him To Step Up In Playoffs

MIAMI—Heading into the team’s first-round matchup against the Milwaukee Bucks, sources confirmed Friday that Miami Heat point guard Mario Chalmers has somehow fallen under the impression that his teammates really need him to step it up during the playoffs. “They can’t do it without me, so I definitely have to bring my A-game,” said Chalmers, adding that head coach Erik Spoelstra is counting on him to be at his absolute best on defense and maintain flawless perimeter shooting amid the team’s bid for a second consecutive NBA title. “This is the playoffs, so I can’t afford to have an off game. Everyone’s depending on me out there, and if I don’t make my presence felt, we could be headed home early.” Chalmers also confirmed that he will need to be a vocal leader on the floor in order to set an example for Dwyane Wade, Ray Allen, and LeBron James.

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