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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Mark Cuban To New Maverick Jason Kidd: 'I'm Open'

DALLAS—Upon seeing that no one on the opposing team had picked him up in transition, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban repeatedly called for newly acquired point guard Jason Kidd to pass him the ball during the All-Star's first home game with the team Monday. "Gimme the ball! Gimme the ball!" said Cuban, waving his arms and jumping up and down behind the Maverick's bench. "Pass me the rock! I'm on an island here... Ball! Ball! Ball! Hey, J-Kidd, over here! I'm wide open! Come on, damn it, ball!" Cuban, who displayed his frustration by stealing a pass intended for power forward Dirk Nowitzki and returning to his seat, finished his third straight game with zero points and two technical fouls.

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