adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mark Cuban Warns NFL’s Popularity May Begin To Wane In Next Millennium

DALLAS—Citing such factors as overexpansion, player safety, and behavioral issues, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban told reporters Wednesday that the NFL is in severe danger of waning in popularity over the next 1,000 years. “The NFL is at its peak in terms of popularity right now, but they’re getting a little too greedy, and they’ll start losing fans in the next three or four centuries,” said Cuban, adding that if officials and team owners aren’t careful the NFL could fall to the second or third most popular sports league as early as 3014. “We’ve seen it with baseball; we’ve seen it with hockey; we’ve seen it with Roman chariot racing in 700 B.C. The NFL is going down the same path with all these new TV deals. It might not happen overnight, but people will turn on the sport before the millennium is out, I can guarantee you that.” Cuban added that in contrast to the NFL’s increasing saturation of the market, the NBA can return to the pinnacle of American sports by only playing 82 games in a six-month regular season.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close