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Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish vocabulary.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Mark Cuban Warns NFL’s Popularity May Begin To Wane In Next Millennium

DALLAS—Citing such factors as overexpansion, player safety, and behavioral issues, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban told reporters Wednesday that the NFL is in severe danger of waning in popularity over the next 1,000 years. “The NFL is at its peak in terms of popularity right now, but they’re getting a little too greedy, and they’ll start losing fans in the next three or four centuries,” said Cuban, adding that if officials and team owners aren’t careful the NFL could fall to the second or third most popular sports league as early as 3014. “We’ve seen it with baseball; we’ve seen it with hockey; we’ve seen it with Roman chariot racing in 700 B.C. The NFL is going down the same path with all these new TV deals. It might not happen overnight, but people will turn on the sport before the millennium is out, I can guarantee you that.” Cuban added that in contrast to the NFL’s increasing saturation of the market, the NBA can return to the pinnacle of American sports by only playing 82 games in a six-month regular season.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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