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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Mark From Sales Currently Leading Bracket Pool

You Know, Mark

FINDLAY, OH—Following the first four Sweet 16 games of this year’s NCAA Tournament, sources at local marketing firm Jones-Brannon Media confirmed Friday that Mark from sales is currently leading the office bracket pool. “Yeah, Mark, the guy who sits over by Caroline and Tim—he’s leading with like 64 points or something,” said account manager Josh Roffler, who gestured toward a far corner of the office and confirmed that Mark managed to correctly pick Dayton over both Ohio State and Syracuse. “I think he’s got Arizona winning it all, but he also had Duke in the Final Four, so who knows. I forget who Scott said is right behind him in second—I just know I need Louisville to come through for me or my bracket’s done.” At press time, sources clarified that the tall guy with the glasses is not Mark—that’s Dave, who isn’t even participating in the office pool this year.

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