adBlockCheck

Sports

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow Warm Up By Throwing Ball In Direction Of One Another

NEW YORK—In an interview before today’s game against the San Francisco 49ers, Jets head coach Rex Ryan described how quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow's typically warm-up by throwing passes in each other's general direction. “Mark usually chucks a couple balls over Tim’s head, and then Tim throws a few that either fall way short or sail shakily out of bounds,” said Ryan, who explained that the exercise helps the quarterbacks settle into their comfort zones. “If they establish a rhythm in warmups and start getting the ball in approximately the right area, it really helps them avoid intentional grounding penalties on the incomplete passes they throw during the game when it counts.” At press time, Tebow and Sanchez were working on their agility by running to retrieve all the balls that had rolled under sideline benches.

More from this section

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close