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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.
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Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow Warm Up By Throwing Ball In Direction Of One Another

NEW YORK—In an interview before today’s game against the San Francisco 49ers, Jets head coach Rex Ryan described how quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow's typically warm-up by throwing passes in each other's general direction. “Mark usually chucks a couple balls over Tim’s head, and then Tim throws a few that either fall way short or sail shakily out of bounds,” said Ryan, who explained that the exercise helps the quarterbacks settle into their comfort zones. “If they establish a rhythm in warmups and start getting the ball in approximately the right area, it really helps them avoid intentional grounding penalties on the incomplete passes they throw during the game when it counts.” At press time, Tebow and Sanchez were working on their agility by running to retrieve all the balls that had rolled under sideline benches.

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