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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
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Marriage Going To Be Hard To Go Back To On Monday

EAST HARTFORD, CT—Thinking wearily of the moment when he would have to return to the daily grind, local man Dan Zageris is already dreading going back to his marriage Monday, sources confirmed this weekend. “A couple of days away are great, but I know that when Monday morning rolls around, it will just start up all over again,” said Zageris, 36, adding that his anxiety will likely return on Sunday, as he becomes preoccupied with the thought of heading back to his monogamous relationship of eight years the following day. “Time off always flies by, and before I know it, I’m clocking back in with my wife and have another long slog of marriage ahead of me.” At press time, Zageris was reportedly keeping his head down and hoping to power through the next 40 years or so.

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