Marshawn Lynch

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What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body

With the FDA recently pulling multiple cigarette brands off the market, the conversation surrounding the harmful effects of smoking has been returning in full force to the national stage. Here is what happens to your body as you smoke a cigarette

Childish 12-Year-Old Still Believes In Father

HARTFORD, CT—Saying she just assumed he would have figured it out by now, local mother Kathleen Rivers expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that her 12-year-old son, Dylan, still believes in his father.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Marshawn Lynch

Running Back, Seattle Seahawks

Strengths: Speed and size allow him to easily evade reporters; Works well with holes, openings, gaps

Weaknesses: Spending majority of game underneath 1,200 pounds of football players may eventually take a toll on health; Bashful, so needs encouragement from teammates to pick up blitzers; Refuses to gain yards before contact

Nickname: The Fellow Whose Traits Are Reminiscent Of A Beast’s

Running Style: Menopausal rhinoceros

Pregame Ritual: Headbutting Percy Harvin 10 times for good luck

Biggest Motivation: Seeing fan-made “BEAST MODE” signs in the crowd during a game

Social Security Number: 651-42-7506

NEXT: Richard Sherman