Marvin Lewis On Suicide Watch After Becoming Winningest Coach In Bengals History

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 45

Previously On

ABC 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST This week’s Previously On gets you all caught up on what happened last week, just as it did last week, and the week before. And what was that? Tune in tonight (or next week) to find out!

House Hunters International

HGTV 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST A mother-daughter duo go all in for larger caliber rifles after seeing a three-story Victorian.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Sleep

Personal Finance

Marvin Lewis On Suicide Watch After Becoming Winningest Coach In Bengals History

CINCINNATI—Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis was immediately placed on suicide watch by city authorities after achieving his franchise-record 65th victory with the team last Sunday. “The fact that he’s tallied 65 wins with the Bengals means he’s been miserable for a long time, and in enough pain to plunge any person into a deep, suicidal depression,” Cincinnati police chief Daryl Rowan told reporters during a press conference, adding that the majority of suicides in Cincinnati can be linked back to the victim’s association with the Bengals. “Lewis has been put through so much turmoil—from Mike Brown’s terrible decisions to Cedric Benson’s multiple arrests to last year’s 4-12 season to having to deal with Carson Palmer for so damn long. After all that, it’s a shock he isn’t hanging from a ceiling beam somewhere already.” Moments after the press conference, Police Chief Rowan was found dead and, in a suicide note, claimed that discussing the Bengals that long had been too much for him to handle.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More