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Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Masochistic Record Wants To Be Broken Again

SAN FRANCISCO—Days after San Francisco 49ers kicker David Akers set the new single-season mark for field goals made, the masochistic record publicly stated its strong desire to be broken "again, and again, and again—shattered even." "I wish a new season could start right now, just so the tension could start building," kicking's highest single-season achievement said Saturday, adding that its been reached or broken four times since 1999, which is "more than most records but still not nearly enough." "God, there’s nothing like that moment when you know you're going to be broken. When it feels like the whole world is watching, waiting to see you toppled and tossed aside like the filthy, lesser number that you are. Jesus Christ, somebody break me again! Break me now! Destroy me!" When asked why it desired to be broken so much, the record said that, as a monument to excellence in placekicking, it is "a terrible, terrible record that deserves to be punished."

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