PALO ALTO, CA—Asserting that the utmost precaution was being taken to safeguard the future of humanity, leading scientists and engineers said Tuesday that they were confident in their ability to program artificially intelligent machines to be lenient slave masters.
TALLAHASSEE, FL—A self-described mass e-mail containing the subject line "URGENT: Please help!" was sent from Jerrod32@gmail.com to only four different in-boxes, the handful of recipients reported Wednesday. "Dear friends, family, and everybody else," the message, which did not use the bcc feature and was clearly sent to firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, and email@example.com, read in part. "Sorry for the mass e-mail, but this is important, and time is of the essence." As of press time, none of those who received the e-mail had, as requested, Dugg the sender's comment on the "Top 7 Most Annoying Video Game Enemies," since they all immediately deleted the message.