adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Masters In Writing Fails To Create Master Of Writing

PALO ALTO, CA—Despite completing all the requirements for a Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing from Stanford University in January, Jeremy Craig Kessler somehow failed to become a master of creative writing, sources reported Monday. "Mr. Kessler's short stories, all written in the style of T.C. Boyle, show little more than excellence in spelling and grammar," said literary agent David Conrad. "Somehow, Kessler advanced to the very highest level of the academic program and has only an average body of work to show for it." Photocopies of Kessler's short-story collection can be purchased at jckessler.com.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close