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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Mathematics To Retire Favre's Number

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Mathematicians, statisticians, number theorists, and members of numeral-oriented professions held a press conference at MIT Tuesday to announce plans to honor quarterback Brett Favre's stellar 17-year career by retiring the number four. "After careful consideration, we came to our conclusion based on the following factors: one, Favre's passion for the game; two, his unmatched ability to win; three, his resilience and sheer toughness in the face of adversity on and off the field; and five, the fact that he holds every significant passing record," professor Jeffery Hamilton said. "No person will be permitted to ever use the number again, though it may be necessary to create a new integer to place between three and five." Favre's number will be retired sometime during the 2008 NFL season and will join the other numbers retired from mathematics, including 23, 42, and 1,003,256.

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