adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Matt Leinart Demands Cardinals Hold Training Camp At His House

PHOENIX—Arizona Cardinals first-round draft pick Matt Leinart has stunned the team by not only holding out on signing his rookie contract but demanding that training camp be moved to the more convenient location of his house. "I don't see why we have to go to all the way up to Flagstaff for camp. What do we need? A pool? Because I've got a pool. And some weights, and a 72-inch plasma television for, like, film study," the Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback told coach Dennis Green Wednesday. "And, oh, I just got this huge dining-room table that'd be great for drawing up plays, or even just, you know, chowing down." Football experts consider it unlikely that Cardinals management will accommodate Leinart, especially after strongly considering but ultimately rejecting his previous suggestion that the team play all its home games in Los Angeles.

More from this section

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close