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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Mavericks Free-Throw Coach Refers Player To Left-Handed-Lay-Up Coach

DALLAS—Mavericks free-throw coach Gary Boren decided Monday that he had "seen enough," realized he was unable to help backup center DeSagana Diop with his particular shooting problem, and decided to refer him to the Bob Jasperson, the Mavericks' left-handed-lay-up coach, for some retooling. "It took us two weeks, but we broke down DeSagana's lay-ups into 12 separate steps. Then we did the same thing, step by step, but with his left hand," Jasperson told reporters from his right-to-left themed office. "Diop, like many players of similar experience, was surprised to find it wasn't just the same shot mirrored—no, far from it!—and I must say, his progress has been really impressive." When Diop was asked if his new, smoother left-handed lay-ups would earn him a starting spot on the team, the center demurred, saying he still had long hours to put in with the team's pivot-foot coach, three-seconds-in-the-lane coach, and height trainer.

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