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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Mavericks Free-Throw Coach Refers Player To Left-Handed-Lay-Up Coach

DALLAS—Mavericks free-throw coach Gary Boren decided Monday that he had "seen enough," realized he was unable to help backup center DeSagana Diop with his particular shooting problem, and decided to refer him to the Bob Jasperson, the Mavericks' left-handed-lay-up coach, for some retooling. "It took us two weeks, but we broke down DeSagana's lay-ups into 12 separate steps. Then we did the same thing, step by step, but with his left hand," Jasperson told reporters from his right-to-left themed office. "Diop, like many players of similar experience, was surprised to find it wasn't just the same shot mirrored—no, far from it!—and I must say, his progress has been really impressive." When Diop was asked if his new, smoother left-handed lay-ups would earn him a starting spot on the team, the center demurred, saying he still had long hours to put in with the team's pivot-foot coach, three-seconds-in-the-lane coach, and height trainer.

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