MADISON, WI—Saying he’d been meaning to set aside this kind of time for a while now, local father Gary Plumber told reporters Tuesday that he had freed up the entire day to spend on some quality father-grill bonding.
PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN—Due to "increased self-indulgence among both children and parents," the Contemporary American Parenting Council announced Monday that it has raised the maximum age for stroller use among U.S. children to 8. "After we increased it to 7 in 2003, we still found far too many parents inconvenienced by their children's curiosity, mobility, and intellectual growth," said the CAPC's Beverly Kapatis. "Now, parents can enjoy avoiding their kids, and kids can enjoy blissful uninvolvement well into their pre-teen years." In a related report, the CAPC also recommended that the cutoff age for breastfeeding be raised to 6.