adBlockCheck

Recent News

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
End Of Section
  • More News

Maya Angelou Thought She’d Be Invited To More White House Stuff

WINSTON-SALEM, NC—Saying that she didn’t want to be presumptuous but had thought her celebrated literary career, numerous academic honors, and tireless political activism would put her "pretty high up" on guests lists, Maya Angelou told reporters Monday she just always assumed she would be invited to more White House stuff.  "I’m not saying I need to be a regular, but there’s stuff going on there pretty much every week that I’d be perfect for," said Angelou, adding that she was surprised last month when she was not invited to speak at "A Celebration of American Poetry, Past and Present," which she described as an event that was "so obviously in [her] wheelhouse." "I would have been more than happy to write a poem for, say, a Women’s History Month event featuring the first lady, but March went by and no one’s aide or secretary ever called—not once. C’mon, that’s bullshit." At press time, Angelou had circled the University of Kentucky basketball team’s White House visit on her calendar and said she plans to just show up and see what happens.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close