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Politics

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Perplexed local man Russell Chambliss has no idea if the coworkers seated with him at Malone’s Irish Tavern are attempting to forge a male bond with him or cruelly harassing him, the 26-year-old shipping clerk told reporters Wednesday evening.

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

How Confirmation Hearings Work

On Tuesday, Congress began holding confirmation hearings to evaluate the fitness of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees for their offices. Here is a step-by-step guide to the confirmation hearing process.

Trump Gives Intelligence Agencies Their Daily Briefing

NEW YORK—Sitting down with top officials from the CIA, FBI, and Defense Intelligence Agency in a Trump Tower conference room, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly gave U.S. intelligence agencies their daily briefing Tuesday morning.

John Kerry Throws Vine Over Pit Of Quicksand To Save Child Companion

PANGSAU, MYANMAR—Thinking quickly to thwart disaster as he ventured deep into the Myanmar rainforest to meet with State Councilor Aung San Suu Kyi, Secretary of State John Kerry threw a vine over a pit of quicksand to save the life of his 12-year-old Moroccan companion, Drumstick, sources confirmed Monday.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
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Mayor Hits On Crazy Idea Of Developing City’s Waterfront, Green Spaces

ERIE, PA—Readily acknowledging how outlandish the idea might seem at first, Erie, PA mayor Joe Sinnott held a press conference Tuesday to announce his new and “admittedly crazy” initiative to develop the city’s waterfront and green spaces. “I recognize this probably sounds insane, but I’ve got this strange feeling there might be some sort of upside to converting our unused and blighted lakefront into a family- and business-friendly hub of the community,” Sinnott told reporters, explaining how the counterintuitive and “probably a little nuts” proposal would replace the decaying and unsightly old manufacturing buildings along Lake Erie with a vibrant retail-entertainment district. “But wait, it gets crazier: What if we also took some of the nearby vacant lots and—hold on to your hats, guys—turned them into public parks? With dog runs? Sounds bonkers, right? But I think it just might work.” Though the proposal has received cautious support, city council president Melvin Witherspoon told reporters that the mayor’s idea to open the refurbished waterfront with a weekend-long street festival was “the unhinged ranting of a madman.”

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