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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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McDonald’s Now Offering Bereavement Prices

OAK BROOK, IL—Saying that the company is proud to support its customers in their darkest hour of sorrow, McDonald’s representatives announced Tuesday that the fast food chain will begin offering lower bereavement pricing to patrons who have recently lost a loved one. “We all know the pain of losing a family member, and we here at McDonald’s want to help assuage the anguish and stress of this difficult emotional period by offering grieving customers 10 percent off our signature burgers and premium McWraps, including our Bacon Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder, which usually retails at $3.99, for just $3.59,” said McDonald’s spokesperson Troy Calhoun, noting that customers would simply have to supply the cashier or drive-thru attendant with the name and relationship of the deceased as well as a funeral home, hospice, or hospital contact number to receive the discount and a complimentary small soft drink. “During your family’s time of mourning, you can take solace in knowing that McDonald’s compassion discounts extend even to our seasonal promotional items, which currently include our spicy and satisfying bone-in Mighty Wings and our popular Shamrock Shake. In hard times such as these, let McDonald’s be your comfort.” Calhoun added that the offer is valid only within the first seven days of death and does not apply to Dollar Menu items.

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