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Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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Media Company Looking For Ways To Get Rid Of Veteran 24-Year-Old Employee

NEW YORK—Noting that he has been with them “forever” and is taking good money away from younger, hungrier colleagues, executives at WebTrender Media have been quietly exploring options for getting rid of 24-year-old veteran employee Jason Rugg, sources within the company confirmed today. “Jason has had valuable moments for this company over the course of his long, 18-month career with us, but at this point he’s definitely overstayed his welcome,” WebTrender CEO Ben Parisi said of the website’s Senior News Editor, adding that Rugg currently earns the highest salary of his department at $33,000 per year and predates the majority of his coworkers by months. “Sure, he was a great content aggregator once, but the reality is that the world has changed since Jason started out here at 22 years old, and it just doesn’t make sense to keep dead weight around anymore. I mean, the guy’s a dinosaur. The last person in editorial who even remembers Jason was Heidi, and she’s from the old guard hired back in 2013.” At press time, company executives had reportedly scrapped their course of action after discovering the veteran employee was technically just an intern.

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