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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Media Company Looking For Ways To Get Rid Of Veteran 24-Year-Old Employee

NEW YORK—Noting that he has been with them “forever” and is taking good money away from younger, hungrier colleagues, executives at WebTrender Media have been quietly exploring options for getting rid of 24-year-old veteran employee Jason Rugg, sources within the company confirmed today. “Jason has had valuable moments for this company over the course of his long, 18-month career with us, but at this point he’s definitely overstayed his welcome,” WebTrender CEO Ben Parisi said of the website’s Senior News Editor, adding that Rugg currently earns the highest salary of his department at $33,000 per year and predates the majority of his coworkers by months. “Sure, he was a great content aggregator once, but the reality is that the world has changed since Jason started out here at 22 years old, and it just doesn’t make sense to keep dead weight around anymore. I mean, the guy’s a dinosaur. The last person in editorial who even remembers Jason was Heidi, and she’s from the old guard hired back in 2013.” At press time, company executives had reportedly scrapped their course of action after discovering the veteran employee was technically just an intern.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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