Media Relieved They Don’t Have To Deal With Fucking Harbaughs This Year

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Vol 50 Issue 04

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In an effort to better accommodate those with gluten intolerance, a number of Girl Scout troops around the country will sell a gluten-free version of their chocolate chip shortbread cookie.

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The Seahawks battle the Broncos in a game that players will be treating like the Super Bowl. Onion Sports examines what each team must do to win.
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Media Relieved They Don’t Have To Deal With Fucking Harbaughs This Year

NEW YORK—Grateful to interview anyone but the two head coach brothers, members of the sports media expressed on Wednesday their unanimous, unequivocal relief that they didn’t have to put up with those goddamn Harbaughs while covering this year’s Super Bowl. “Thank fucking Christ,” said NESN reporter Doug Kyed, adding that he “just could not handle” sitting through any more terse, hostile press conferences with that asshole Jim or pretending to care that John was always the supportive brother. “Compared to that god-awful Harbaugh shit, John Fox is nothing—he just shuts up and lets Peyton Manning go. Hell, even Carroll’s fine. Give me Pete Carroll any day of the week if it means I never have to talk to another fucking Harbaugh again.” Media personnel were reportedly further relieved after realizing they wouldn’t have to watch Joe Flacco take a single snap on Sunday.

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