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New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

John Kerry Throws Vine Over Pit Of Quicksand To Save Child Companion

PANGSAU, MYANMAR—Thinking quickly to thwart disaster as he ventured deep into the Myanmar rainforest to meet with State Councilor Aung San Suu Kyi, Secretary of State John Kerry threw a vine over a pit of quicksand to save the life of his 12-year-old Moroccan companion, Drumstick, sources confirmed Monday.
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Mel Gibson - His Performance In 'Payback' Still Not Getting Enough Credit

Actor

In one of the biggest entertainment scandals of the year, Mel Gibson, more than a decade after the fact, still has not received the critical acclaim he deserves for his powerful yet nuanced performance in the 1999 action-thriller Payback.

Playing the role of Porter, a street-smart ex-Marine who plots revenge after being shot by his best friend and junkie wife and left to die, Gibson treats audiences to 100 minutes of pure edge-of-your seat drama, a feat that somehow failed to garner a single Oscar nod or a spot on AFI's top-100 list. His masterful realization of the character was inexplicably lost in the shuffle, and when looking back on 2010, this travesty will always be remembered as one of the most talked-about slights of this, or any, year.

The movie's tagline, "Get ready to root for the bad guy," is ironic, given Gibson's squeaky-clean public persona.

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