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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Mel Kiper, Jr. Explains How Justice Stevens' Retirement Affects NFL Draft

BRISTOL, CT—According to NFL draft expert Mel Kiper, Jr., Associate Justice John Paul Stevens' announcement last week that he would be retiring from the U.S. Supreme Court altered Kiper's Big Board considerably. "This certainly complicates things. If, for example, Obama selects 9th Circuit Court of Appeals judge Sidney Thomas, there's a good chance Jacksonville will take Sergio Kindle out of Texas instead of C.J. Spiller," Kiper said during Tuesday's edition of SportsCenter. "Now, if Obama goes with a jurist whose confirmation could be a long, drawn out process, like an Elizabeth Warren, the 49ers will definitely have to trade down for more picks." Kiper added any chance of Tim Tebow being drafted in the first round was basically quashed when Obama ruled out Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for the justiceship.

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