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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Mel Kiper Wakes In Middle Of Night Thinking He Missed NFL Draft

NEW YORK—Football personnel analyst and perennial NFL Draft fixture Mel Kiper Jr. woke from a sound sleep Wednesday night with a start and a muted shriek that startled his wife, Kim, whom he told he had dreamt about missing the entire 2008 draft. "I woke up, you know, and looked at the calendar, and it was Monday? And the whole draft was over? And I'd slept through it because I figured it started at 3 p.m. this year instead of noon, so I didn't set an alarm?" Kiper said through chattering teeth while his wife tried to calm him by attempting to stroke his meticulously gelled hair. "But I had worked so hard putting together Mel Kiper's Draft Preview and I was sleepy, you know? So I slept so hard I slept through it and—and—and they had it without me. Without me!" Mrs. Kiper was eventually able to soothe her distraught husband, and the couple passed the rest of the night without incident on the makeshift bed on the steps of Radio City Music Hall, where they spend the time from the end of college football season until Draft Day.

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