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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Men Standing Behind Backstop With Radar Guns Exchange Impressed Glances

Lakeland, FL—During a recent throwing session by Tigers' top prospect Rick Porcello, two men holding radar guns in the bleachers behind home plate could be seen shooting each other knowing glances, shaking their heads, and letting out low whistles after each pitch. "Kid's got an arm," one man said while lifting his hat and scratching his head with the same hand just before spitting a stream of tobacco juice between his teeth. His companion, a large man in suspenders who punctuated his comments by mopping his brow, seemed to agree, remarking that he had "been around for a long time" and had "never seen anything like it." The men went on to remark that they had not seen an arm like that since Yankee great Steve Nebraska or Cubs great Henry Rowengartner.

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