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Message From The Mayor

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Message From The Mayor

A special message from Mayor Sue Hallinan:

“Just wanted to let folks know that there’s going to be a whole bunch of commotion down at Tuffy’s this evening as several members of the national press will be in town. In case you haven’t heard, our boy Tuffy has had the distinct honor of being the man who officially ended the American Dream when he decided to give up on turning Tuffy’s into a bar & grill.

Just so you know, we are going to be closing off Hoover Street between 4th and 5th streets to handle the crowd, but if you’re in the neighborhood come on over! Drinks are going to be half price, Dale will be out there selling hot dogs, and Lucille will be doing some face painting for the kids. However, I just want to remind you that if you are given the opportunity to talk to one of the reporters, remember that you are a representative of Pennington and should be on your best behavior, and please don’t bring up last week’s IHOP fire. We’re still investigating that. See you all tonight and congratulations, Tuffy!”


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