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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Messi: ‘I’m Sorry I Let Down The People Of Barcelona’

RIO DE JANEIRO—After suffering a crushing defeat to Germany in Sunday’s World Cup final, visibly emotional Argentina star Lionel Messi offered a heartfelt apology to all of his fellow compatriots in Barcelona. “To everyone back home in Barcelona: I’m sorry I couldn’t win it for you,” Messi told reporters, adding that he had hoped to parade the hallowed World Cup trophy through the streets of Catalonia. “It was always my dream to win this honor for my people, but I gave absolutely everything I had on the field and just fell short. Even in defeat, I can honestly say I’ve never felt more proud to be Catalan.” Sources close to Messi later confirmed his private fear that after his disappointing performance in the final, he will never be able to show his face in Catalonia again.

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