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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Mets Acquire Guillermo Mota From Indians In Daring Midnight Raid

CLEVELAND—Mets GM Omar Minaya announced yesterday that Guillermo Mota has checked out as healthy and relatively unscathed after being acquired last Sunday at midnight when intrepid Mets scouts used smoke grenades and the cover of a moonless night to rappel into Cleveland's Jacobs Field and acquire the 33-year-old right-hander. "We expect Guillermo to report as soon as the effects of our tranquilizer dart have worn off," said Minaya, who began planning the operation soon after Mota impressed him by beaning then-Mets catcher Mike Piazza with a pitch in the spring of 2003. "Once he comes to and realizes he's a Met, we expect his gratitude to show in a high standard of play, just like Orlando Hernandez did when we smuggled him out of the Diamondbacks camp in that laundry cart." The Indians organization has released a statement saying they will be seeking compensation in the form of a Mets player to be suddenly, swiftly, and silently named later.

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