Mets Release Mets

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Vol 47 Issue 13

Eating Locally

The locavore movement—in which people eat food produced near their home to reduce their carbon footprint—is getting more and more popular. Here are some ways you can do more to eat locally.

Cooking For Large Groups

As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people.

Area Dad Off To Bad Start With Waitress

BETHEL, PA—Following an awkward exchange in which Tom Richardson flagged down their server for "a round of waters" mere seconds after being seated, family members confirmed Sunday the 56-year-old father of three was off to a rough start wi...

Study: 38 Age It Too Late

BALTIMORE—After years of observing people in their late 30s to early 40s, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have determined that once an individual reaches 38 years of age it is too late to make any meaningful life changes.
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Mets Release Mets

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla—In an attempt to move the organization into a new era, the New York Mets announced Friday they will part ways with the New York Mets, releasing all 40 of its roster players and its entire farm system. "They were given a fair chance to prove themselves, but they've shown a disappointing lack of productivity for the past 64 years," Mets general manager Sandy Alderson told reporters, citing the 1988 NLCS, the 1999 NLCS, the Subway Series, the 2006 NLCS, the 2007 and 2008 collapses, seven consecutive losing seasons in the 1960s, the decision to trade Nolan Ryan, K-Rod punching his girlfriend's father in the face, and Carlos Beltran as reasons to swallow the remaining $480 million left on every player's contract. "Mets fans associate an intense feeling of negativity with the Mets. Cutting the entire organization was the only way to get them back on our side." Following his statement, Alderson said, "Goodbye," and left, as he had just informed himself of his own release.

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