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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Mia Farrow: ‘It’s Possible My Son Was Fathered By Frank Sinatra, Mario Puzo, George McGovern, Robert Altman, Anthony Perkins, Milton Berle, Robert Redford, Michael Caine, Danny Aiello, Or Bruce Dern’

‘Or Maybe Francis Ford Coppola, John Cassavetes, Tony Curtis, Dustin Hoffman, Quincy Jones, Sydney Pollack, Joe Mantegna, Liam Neeson, Tom Courtenay, Bob Balaban, Or Even William Hurt,’ Suggests Actress

NEW YORK—Following years of speculation regarding the paternity of her 25-year-old son Ronan Farrow, who was born in 1987 during her relationship with Woody Allen, actress Mia Farrow admitted in an interview with Vanity Fair this week that her son could have actually been fathered by Frank Sinatra, Mario Puzo, George McGovern, Robert Altman, Anthony Perkins, Milton Berle, Robert Redford, Michael Caine, Danny Aiello, or Bruce Dern, or possibly even Francis Ford Coppola, John Cassavetes, Tony Curtis, Dustin Hoffman, Quincy Jones, Sydney Pollack, Joe Mantegna, Liam Neeson, John Irvin, Bob Balaban, or William Hurt. “Even though we were only married for a few years, Frank was the love of my life, and the truth is I never really split up with him, or, for that matter, Dudley Moore, Kurt Russell, Walter Cronkite, Richard Gere, Gore Vidal, Oliver Stone, Bob Costas, Burt Bacharach, or Prince,” the 68-year-old actress and humanitarian told reporters, noting that while she was seriously involved with Allen from 1980 until 1992, she still “had never really forgotten” former flames Henry Rollins, John Malkovich, Michael Dukakis, Huey Lewis, Paul Newman, and Bill Laimbeer. “But then, of course, about a year before [Ronan was born], I had also recently reconnected with ‘Pistol’ Pete Maravich, Mikhail Gorbachev, Michael Landon, David Lynch, Jim Henson, Prince Charles, O.J. Simpson, Bruce Hornsby, Fred Rogers, Ted Turner, George Peppard, Jeffrey Dahmer, Phil Collins, Grandmaster Flash, David Duke, Gordon Lightfoot, and Greg Louganis, whom I realized I’d never really gotten over. So they’re possibilities as well.” Family sources also reported that Ronan Farrow has spent Father’s Day the past three years with song parodist “Weird Al” Yankovic.

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