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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Miami Heat Spend Entire Plane Ride To Game 1 Planning Victory Parade

OKLAHOMA CITY—Sources within the Miami Heat organization reported Tuesday that the Eastern Conference champions spent their entire flight to Oklahoma City planning their NBA championship victory parade. "We should each get our own victory float with our own music, and the whole city will come out for the biggest celebration Miami's ever seen," Chris Bosh told his teammates 24 hours before the tipoff for Game 1 of the Finals, as Udonis Haslem eagerly joined in to describe all the beautiful bikini-clad who would be dancing throughout South Beach. "Then when we get to the stage, fireworks go off while we just spray champagne all over. God, I wish it were next week already so we could just start the victory party." Moments before the flight landed at Will Rogers World Airport, head coach Erik Spoelstra demanded his players settle down, be quiet, and focus on how cool it would be if he arrived in a helicopter to deliver the Larry O'Brien Trophy to the rest of the team on a big stage.

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