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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Miami Heat Spend First Two Weeks Of Training Camp Practicing Pregame Introductions

HURLBURT FIELD, FL—After two weeks of intense twice-a-day practices, sources within the Miami Heat organization are reporting that players are already in midseason pregame introduction form. "We spent the first week working on the basics, mostly running out of the tunnel, jumping into one another, and rocking back and forth in a big circle," said newly acquired forward Chris Bosh, still catching his breath Tuesday from a high-five/low-five drill. "But working with guys like LeBron [James] and Dwyane [Wade], it's amazing how quickly we got the feel for one another's preferences. Like just yesterday, Wade and I caught eyes in practice and I instinctively knew he was going to jump into the ring of us starters, and that we should all explode like he was a missile crashing into us." Bosh added that while the Heat is firing on all cylinders, team members are in no position to get complacent, as they could always find more ways to incorporate flames into the introduction.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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