adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Michael Crabtree

49ers Wide Receiver

Strength: Great height, solid width, spectacular volume, and better-than-average circumference; Always maintains composure after a big drop; Only needs to try for one more year before huge contract

Weakness: Often gets lost in the stands on deep routes

Body Type: Athletic

Agility: Excellent ability to get both feet in-bounds at line of scrimmage

Quickness: Consistently beats blown coverage

Hand Softness: Cashmere

Franchise Records: Longest rookie holdout, most vague sexual assault charges

40-Yard Dash Time: Definitely going to get around to doing that soon

Darkest Secret: Doesn’t really enjoy financially supporting entire family and every friend he had in high school

NEXT: Patrick Willis

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close