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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
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Michael J. Fox Reluctantly Fields Hoverboard Question During Parkinson's Research Benefit

NEW YORK—Despite being on a panel to discuss his foundation's contributions to Parkinson's research, actor Michael J. Fox reluctantly fielded a question Sunday about how the hoverboard sequence in the film Back To The Future Part II was filmed. "Um, well, we mostly used a system of pulleys to move us forward and back," said Fox, who since being diagnosed with Parkinson's has worked tirelessly to find a cure for the degenerative disease. "Anyway, much like the hoverboard got me where I wanted to go in Back To The Future, let's get back to what I was saying about translational research, which will get all of us where we want to go to in order to beat Parkinson's." Fox was later asked if his new book Always Looking Up: The Adventures Of An Incurable Optimist had any further information about Griff's jet-propelled 'Pit Bull' hoverboard.

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