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Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Michael Jordan Hires Patrick Ewing As Bobcats Assistant Coach To Watch Him Lose More

CHARLOTTE, NC—Bobcats owner Michael Jordan announced Wednesday that he has officially hired Patrick Ewing as the team’s assistant coach purely to watch the former New York Knicks center lose more. “I’m thrilled to add Patrick to the coaching staff, and I am very happy to once again be the person responsible for Patrick losing game after game after game,” said Jordan, adding that much like their heated rivalry in the 1990s, Jordan will have a front-row seat to watch Ewing consistently fail on the basketball court. “I’m incredibly confident that with our roster of players, and under the tutelage of our head coach, Steve Clifford, Patrick will be frustrated, upset, and constantly question whether or not his team is good enough to reach the playoffs, let alone win an NBA Title. Putting him through that kind psychological torment again couldn’t excite me more.” Sources later confirmed Jordan was also in negotiations to bring on former Cleveland Cavaliers guard Craig Ehlo so that he could “make that guy’s life a living hell all over again too.”

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