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Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Michael Jordan Mulling Return To Craps Table

LAS VEGAS—Having walked away following nine heart-pounding rounds, sources confirmed Tuesday night that former Chicago Bulls guard Michael Jordan is considering a return to the craps table at the Bellagio casino. “Sometimes a guy like that needs to step away for a while and refresh, but craps has always been such a big part of him that it was hard to believe he was leaving for good,” frequent Bellagio guest Anthony Miano said of Jordan, whose trip to the bar also reportedly included a brief but unremarkable stint playing blackjack. “He’s up $5,000, so he’s still in pretty good shape. I hope he comes back, because everybody at the table agrees the game just hasn’t been the same without him.” Miano then wistfully recalled watching Jordan bravely refuse to leave the casino’s daylong poker tournament despite battling a 102-degree fever.

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